needsmorestartrek:

thetrekkiehasthephonebox:

thetrekkiehasthephonebox:

citylightscomebackinjune:

thetrekkiehasthephonebox:

herestoyoumsholly:

shield-agent-merrick:

thetrekkiehasthephonebox:

nellachronism:

fanficcritic:

nellachronism:

petticoatruler:

thetrekkiehasthephonebox:

The next brand-new original idea from director JJ Abrams…

“I came out of the ocean because J. J. Abrams needs to stop”

” My species is my family, Kirk. Is there anything you would not do for your family?”

…you guys don’t seem to understand the concept of “alternate universe”, do you?

And for the record, Into the Darkness was not a remake of The Wrath of Khan. Just because it had similar elements does not mean it’s a remake.

NO BUT DON’T YOU SEE!?  THE NEXT MOVIE, THE SPACE!WHALES ARE ON THEIR VOYAGE TO RETURN TO EARTH (EXCEPT WE WON’T EVER CALL THEM SPACE!WHALES OR WHALES BECAUSE LOL THAT’S *SPOILERS*, WE’LL CALL THEM, OH, I DON’T, JOHN MCMISDIRECTS INSTEAD. AND IT’LL BE A *HUGE* REVEAL THAT THEY WERE SPACE!WHALES ALL ALONG AND WON’T EVERYONE JUST BE SO HAPPILY SURPRISED!? 😀 )

BUT KIRK AND THE CREW RUN INTO THEM IN SPACE BUT THEN THE WHALES PROBE THEM AND ACCESS THEIR DATA BANKS AND OMG NOOOOOOOO YOU SLAUGHTERED OUR PEOPLE THEY MUCH BE AVENGED! SO THE CREW HAS TO RACE THE SPACE!WHALES BACK TO EARTH BECAUSE WE JUST LOOOOOOOOOOOVE BLOWING SHIT UP IN THIS ‘VERSE.

SO THE SPACE!WHALES START AVENGING THE SPACE!WHALE GENOCIDE THEN AND THERE BUT THE ENTERPRISE HAS TO PEW! PEW! PEW! AND SAN FRANCISCO GETS IT *AGAIN* BUT SPOCK SPEAKS WHALE AND EVEN THOUGH HE’S ALL EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED BECAUSE DADDY!SAREK HAS DIED DURING THE ASSAULT, HE CONVINCES THEM TO STOP ATTACKING!

AND THEN SPOCK PRIME REVEALS THE IMPORTANT DETAIL THAT YOU CAN LIKE, TOTES GO BACK IN TIME TO SAVE THE WHALES AND BRING THEM BACK TO THIS TIME PERIOD, EVEN THOUGH HE LIKE, TOTALLY PINKY SWORE HE WOULDN’T DROP HINTS LIKE THAT ANY MORE, THAT GREEN-BLOODED HOBGOBLIN.

BUT THE SPACE WHALES TERRORIST ALLEGORY AND KIRK AS REPRESENTING THE FEDERATION SOMEHOW DIPLOMATICALLY AGREE TO A BIPARTISAN TIME TRAVEL MISSION TO SAVE THE WHALES IN PEACE BECAUSE THIS IS UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY YOU GUYS, JUST GIVE US A CHANCE.

AND THEN SYBOK RIDES UP ON A UNICORN ALL LIKE “…SHIT, YOU SKIPPED MY MOVIE, DIDN’T YOU?”

………ALRIGHT, JJ, SEND MY CHECK IN THE MAIL; I HAVE GIVEN YOU GOLD.

(…aka I perfectly understand AUs, thankyouverymuch. just don’t try to tell me that something that has the goddamn KHAAAAAAAAAAN AND the glass wall death scene yell isn’t a AU remake/reimagining/fanfiction what if. This shit doesn’t even smack of homage. It’s too overt.)

ok… anything else?

Also, he’ll replace the Whales with Dolphins, because people on the internet think Dolphins are cuter, and they’re lighter colored than Whales.

I died at the ‘lighter colored’ line.

This was the final product…

Died. I have died and have gone to happy Trek Heaven. Whitewashing Dolphins was the best part of this.

JJ Stahp! Just Stahp!

This was my first ever “viral” post.

Wait, no this has 700 notes 2 days ago what’s happening

I couldn’t have ranted better myself… ❤

tuluxi:

“I saw the end of the world.“