alright I’ve got a One Free Kinkshame pass that expires this week so I’m gonna go ahead and use it in response to some fairly surreal undertale porn i just saw: who the FUCK is whippin their dripper to skeletons with butt plugs crammed into their tail bones. i mean i know this is The Internet and all but i am at a loss. they’re bones, my dudes. you wanna stick your dick in some bones? you gonna stick your dick in some gotdamn bones? bones can’t feel, pal buddy. I’m sorry. they Can’t. butt plugs don’t work on bones. thats like plugging your HDMI cable into your electric toothbrush. its feasible but nothing is gonna happen, i promise. all i can imagine is what that would sound like. you shove some vibrating bullshit up into some bones and its just gonna be CLAKCLAKCLAKCLAKCLAKCLAKCLAKCLAK. gonna sound like all your grandma’s hanging lawn ornaments in a hurricane. you wanna fuck your grandma’s lawn ornaments? you wanna shove a butt plug in your grandma’s butterfly windsock and play your fiddle to it you piece of shit? Unbelievable
me when i see a cat: CAT! cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat
Fun fact: when I see cute animals, I forget English and automatically revert to my native Hungarian. I don’t know what bystanders make of me, reciting guttural gibberish to rabbits.
But the real question is, what are you SAYING to the rabbits? Is it ‘RABBIT! rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit bunny bunny bunny awww cute bunnyyyyy’?
Well, I usually say the Hungarian equivalent of ‘bun bun bun lil bun look at your tiny spoon-shaped ears awww bun brave little lawnmower bun’, but sometimes I say ‘hey rabbits, my sister’s gonna go to med school’ because I think everyone should know.
I live in Japan, and I always revert to English to talk to small animals, and I was cooing at this tiny little fluff machine of a puppy in baby english like “hello you’re so cute such a cute hello hello yess you’re good” and the 70 year old Japanese lady that was walking him started to *translate the baby talk english into Japanese* for her pup. She wanted to be sure he understood it too.
ok listen i am austrian and my family spents a lot of holidays in italy where cats
freely
roam the streets so i am there constantly chanting ‘kitty kitty kitty’ at random cats …. well i have been informed that the german word ‘Katzi’ apparently sound an awful lot like an italian slang word for …..penis
ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum
…Where the reason she’s got the Bikini of Power is that the Amazons sent her out into the modern day to ‘fit in’, but they looked at pop culture and our media first and just assumed ‘really unrealistic bikini armours’ are just how our female soldiers dress.
And when Wonder Woman finds out it’s not, she goes and finds herself some pants.
When I see folks didn’t like Deadpool, I’m like whatever. People like different things. I don’t even like Deadpool as a character but the movie was dope. Anyway, if you didn’t like it because it was short or it felt cheap and underdeveloped, that’s because it was. It was kinda set up to fail.
They were given the greenlight the way an impatient parent says ‘fine you can have a dog but if it pisses on the rug, I’m gonna shoot it.’ They had less than a year to complete the movie and were given a budget of 58 million when the average superhero movie budget is between $150-250 million. AND Fox had the nerve to take money out of the budget so they had to write around the money. So Deadpool only having a few bullets? Budget. Forgetting his guns in the car so he can’t use them in the final fight? Budget. Only 2 low profile X-men around, one of which had never been seen before? Budget.
And they still managed to make crazy amounts of money and break all kinds of records. I just feel like it’s worth knowing whether you like it or not because I ended up liking the movie a lot more after knowing what they were working against. Deadpool is like the indie movie of this superhero shit
Hey guys look at this damn film nerd
Look at this film nerd pointing out this massive SUCCESS STORY.
Bonus points for Deadpool making massive amounts of money despite being released in a fucking DEADZONE and being rated R.
An R rating automatically limits the audience, so it was basically kneecapped from the get-go because fewer people would even be able to see it. Releasing the movie in fucking February was a damn near deliberate attempt on its life. February is where movies go to die, ok, even the cheesy date movies don’t always make it out alive.
They didn’t want this movie made in the first place, greenlit it to stop the nagging, gave it a ridiculously tiny budget and then CUT IT DOWN EVEN MORE later on forcing several very hurried bits of rewriting (this is where a few extra digs at the studio were added, because they fucking deserved it), tried to argue against an R rating and when that failed, they tried to kill it by dumping it in the fucking release date graveyard.
And it still made ridiculous amounts of money. That’s like winning the Kentucky Derby on a 3-legged donkey; “Massive success” is a bit of an understatement.
I just tried it out myself, too. It is pretty legit.
I’ve been adding egg to my soupy ramen for a while… got to try this take on it!
listen, if you’re poor, and buy green onion, don’t keep it in a bag in the fridge! put the bunch in a glass of water, so the waxy white part is submerged, and leave it somewhere it gets some sunlight. instead of rotting in the crisper drawer, the onions will stay fresh almost indefinitely, and can even replenish themselves.
you can eat the stalks whole one by one, or just cut the greens off with scissors and let them grow back from the white base. just don’t let the water get too old or too warm, or submerge too much of the greens, or you risk losing a stalk to rot— just replace the water once or twice a week, do an occasional sniff test.
if the roots get real long, you can even upgrade your stalks to houseplant status. when potted, the upkeep’s a little higher, because you have to water them regularly, but the onions start to reproduce.
i’ve heard bok choy does fine in water too, but i haven’t tried it. see for yourself.
I did not know this green onion tip and will be using it!
Other option is boil ramen like normal, then at the end stir the pot to get a whirlpool going, then crack an egg in. Wait 30 secs, drain in a colander (reserve a bit of water) and pour in a bowl. Add reserved water and flavoring packet. That’s how I’ve always done it, anyway.
Hey! This looks like a soup recipe my grandma passed down to me. She’s half Chinese half Spanish and her mom found a way to incorporate her Spanish foods and her husbands Chinese ones.
You can make a larger pot of something similar to this by using birds nest noodles (or any other thin noodles. Like angle hair. Thin spaghetti is okay just make sure to cook it a bit longer).
Just cook the noodles in the amount of water that it suggests and add some salt and pepper with some parsley and/or cilantro to the water before it boils. Once the water is boiling add in a pack of Achiote (and a little bit of beef bouillon if you want extra flavor.) throw in some sautéed tomatoes, garlic, and Onions into the pot. Then add a couple of eggs while spinning. Then add a little bit of milk.
The finished product is great and you can get about 3-5 meals out of it if you stretch it right. I usually make it for lunch/dinner one night and bring the rest to work over the next few days for my lunch.
Leaving tungle.hell like rats on the Titanic 