
i hate myself for laughing so hard at this
I demand more fics about Watson meeting John and finding out that in their time gay marriage is legal and being like, so when do you plan to propose and John is like “we’re not a couple” and Watson is like “WHY THE FUCK NOT”
my favorite part of this is before she takes off her jacket, she waves her hands like “oh i GOT THIS”
“Bite me, asshole” = grammatically correct and scathing
“Bite me asshole” = kinky pirate

Giant balloon popping in slow motion.
So the coolest thing about this gif is that you can really see how the sun is reflected off of TWO surfaces on the balloon — the outside AND THE INSIDE
What they don’t show you in ‘The Incredibles’
It’s slightly less horrifying when you remember that she’s Elastigirl so her body is allowed to stretch like that.
The comment that saved the comic

All it does is show me you have a superiority complex and deep rooted classist tendencies. I’ve been a waitress, a barista and a sales associate, so your talking down to others just tells me at one point you would’ve talked down to me. This guy in the queue tried to buy me a coffee today, after ripping into the guy behind the counter about his skills and his job. Don’t care what people do for a living, if you don’t treat ‘em like (very important) people when you deal with them, we can’t be friends.
“A person who is nice to you but cruel to the waiter isn’t a nice person.”
I don’t understand how people don’t get this
It is terrifying. It means if you don’t adhere to their demands or if you make on little mistake, they can turn on you. I don’t deal with people who are nasty to others.
F-cking *this*.
(It is a busy Saturday night. During the dinner rush, I have been dealing with a table of two 20-something year old men. The blonde one has found something to complain about every time I’ve walked by while the brown-haired one just blushes and stays quiet. They’ve finished their meal.)
Blonde Man: “Are you new here?”
Me: “No, sir. I’ve been a waitress here for two years and three years at [other restaurant] prior.”
Blonde Man: “Then you have no excuse for how terrible this service was. The salad was wilty, and the entree was way too cold, and you were nowhere to be found. Plus, this place is far too noisy; I could barely hear myself speak! Honestly, I get better service at a fast food place.”
Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. While there isn’t much I can do about the noise, I did offer to bring you different food before, but you said no.”
Blonde Man: *waves me off* “Just bring me the check, and try not to be so slow about it for once.”
(I go and get the check, but when I return, the brown-haired man stands up and hands me a $20 bill.)
Brown-haired Man: “Here, this is your tip. He wasn’t going to give you one. As a former waiter myself, I thought you were doing a perfectly fine job. My food was great, and the service was fast even though you’re so busy right now.”
(He turns to his blonde companion.)
Brown-haired Man: “People like you made my job so much worse, especially for making us work that much harder for no tip. So thanks for the meal, but you can go ahead and delete my number because there will be no second date. And by the way,potjevleesch is supposed to be served cold, you idiot.”
(With that, he left the restaurant without his date. It made the whole night worth it, to see that blonde man speechless for once.)
Brown-haired Man is my hero.
i hate this gifset with a burning passion
i love it
i pity all the other things you love