Category: Uncategorized

Bucky: (side-eyeing Sam) (speaking in Russian) So Natasha, what am I supposed to do with this Sriracha stuff?
Natasha: (in Russian) It’s spicy, put it on anything, it’s really good. Why are you glaring at Sam like that?
Bucky: (in Russian) I’m pretending to talk shit about him. Is it good on eggs?
Natasha: (in Russian) Oh, fantastic. I’m going to glare at Steve and pretend to talk shit. Yes, it’s great on eggs.
Bucky and Natasha: (scowling at Sam and Steve)
Sam: The fuck is going on over there.
Steve: I don’t know but I don’t like it.
Bucky: (in Russian) This is the most fun I’ve had since 1944.
Natasha: (high-fives Bucky)

Everyone’s motivations in Captain America Civil War

Tony: We should let them do this
Steve: WE CAN’T LET THEM DO THIS
Natasha: Okay just hear me out…
Black Panther: BUCKY DID THIS
Bucky: I didn’t do this
Clint: It got boring at home
Vision: Wanda no!
Wanda: WANDA YES!!
Falcon: Everyone, this is Redwing
War Machine: Alright, I don’t want anyone fucking shit up
Spider-Man: I’m done with my homework and Mr. Stark said I can come along
Ant-Man: I’m just happy to be here

callmegallifreya:

error-404-fuck-not-found:

dendritic-trees:

fuckingflying:

I hate linguistic anthropology. Why? One of the most influential experiments in linguistic anthropology involved teaching a chimp asl. One of the most influential linguistics is named Noam Chomsky. You know what the chimp’s name was?

Nim Chimpsky.

Fucking monkey pun.

And this is in textbooks, in documentaries, everywhere. And everyone just IGNORES THIS GOD AWFUL PUN cause of how important the experiment was. But

BUT LOOK AT THIS SHIT. FUCKING NIM CHIMPSKY. I HATE THIS WHOLE FIELD.

Its not just the linguistic anthropologists.

There’s a group of very important genes that determine if your body develops in the right shape/organization… they are called the hedgehog genes, because fruit fly geneticists are all ridiculous.  The different hedgehog genes are all named after different hedgehogs.  And then someone decided to get clever and name one “sonic hedgehog” because this is just what fruitfly geneticists do.

Well sonic hedgehog controls brain development, and now actual doctors are stuck in the position of explaining to grieving parents that their child’s lethal birth defects or life-threatening tumors are caused by a “sonic hedgehog mutation”.

And this is why no one will invite the fruit fly people to parties.

Biogeochemical scientists, upon discovering the complex mechanisms that govern the storage and use of molecular iron on our planet, decided to call this cycle “the ferrous wheel”.  We groaned about that for at least five solid minutes.

The phenomenon of sneezing when exposed to sudden bright light is called an Autosomal-dominant Compelling Helio Opthalmic Outburst. ACHOO.

Half a byte of data is a nibble.

thatsthat24:

shitshilarious:

queerqueerspawn:

james-tiqueerius:

queerqueerspawn:

glampersand:

glowcloud:

kittiesinqueerland:

robalyn:

the highlighted area is where Jason Derulo knows what the girls want. london to taiwan.

new york to haiti

greenland is right out

ummm no offense but new york to haiti should be measured as the area between the two latitudes, not the longitudes. this graph is incorrect and vastly underestimates the total region of the earth in which Jason Derulo knows what the girls want

Even measuring that way, Greenland remains right out, as does the entirity of Brazil.

Have we considered measuring by neither latitude nor longitude but in all area that would extend perpendicular from the diagonal of the two places?

There are many different interpretations of the data, and until more is available, we ought not conclude anything at this point.

In light of that, I posit this alternative map of regions where Jason Derulo is potentially claiming where he knows what girls want:

As we can see, if we assume that model, the vast majority of the area where Jason Derulo knows what girls want is either open ocean (the Atlantic, the Mediterranean Sea) or sparsely populated (the northern Sahara, the northern Arabian Desert, various desert portions of Iran and Afghanistan, and the southern Tibetan Plateau). Four of the ten most populated countries on the planet have no territory in it (Nigeria, Brazil, Japan, and Indonesia), and two which do have relatively little territory in it (the US and Russia). It is suggested that for all his boasting, Jason Derulo does not know what a probable majority of the world’s girls want.

Perhaps Jason Derulo’s intention was never to proclaim to be omnipotent to the interests of the female gender. Perhaps he was instead expressing his humanity, or the limits of his knowledge. I applaud Jason Derulo. Jason Derulo is not just another 2 dimensional character. Jason Derulo has depth.Jason Derulo has limitations and has come to terms with them. Jason Derulo knows Jason Derulo. Thats why he makes it a point to say his name so much.

But again, Greenland is right out

wombatking:

constancebone-acieux:

Fic where all of the Avengers are trying to teach tech stuff to Steve (especially Tony who just gets so annoyed at his apparent tech incompetence) but he just seems super hopeless at it until one day one of them stumbles across a youtube account that’s filled with a series of videos titled ‘How Long Can I Keep My Friends Convinced I Have No Idea What Technology Is’ and it turns out he’s been gaming them for YT hits for months.

“How do I make the Google do the thing” has over 30 million hits alone.